2 Years a Blog (Up, up, up)

David: “Hey, Blog, what’s up?”

Blog: “Feeling good, why?”

David: “Well, are you aware of the fact that it’s your 2-year-anniversary today?”

Blog: “Wait, what, today is my birthday? Again?”

David: “Yes. Happy Birthday!”

Blog: “Wow, thanks! Time flies, hm? I’m getting old.”

David: “I’m not sure what the average life expectancy for blogs is, but two years is definitely not old.”

Blog: “I don’t feel old either, so…”

David: "You basically are starting to speak at this point."

Blog: "I'm not a baby."

David: “Is it okay that I just call you Blog?”

Blog: “Sure. But you created me, so you can call me whatever you want.”

David: “That’s true. Your domain is in my hands. He he he.”

Blog: “Don’t do an evil laugh, that’s embarrassing.”

David: “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Blog: “Wanna talk about stats instead?”

David: “Good idea. That’s what eople come here for after all.”

Blog: “No, it’s not, only you care about that, but go ahead.”

David: “Well, this is the 312th post.”

Blog: “I have to admit, that’s a lot of posts I’m carrying on my shoulders here. Good thing I’m not the one who was to write them. I wonder if you can stop yourself telling us how many words your talented fingers have written in the last two years.”

David: “No, I can’t. 295,321 words. That’s more than Ulysses. That’s more than the longest Harry Potter book.”

Blog: “Dave?”

David: “Yes?”

Blog: “I’m not Ulysses.”

David: “I know, we’re not even close to any literary masterpiece. Mostly because you’re not literary.”

Blog: “Except for today since you had to write something fancy.”

David: “Yes, I felt like fancy.”

Blog: “If I may rain on your parade little: you don’t write nearly as much as you used to, right? I mean, 312 posts sounds like a lot but you wrote 225 of those in the first year. Is it true you only wrote about 80,000 words this year? It doesn’t sound like I’ll live for that long after all.”

David: “Hey, hey, don’t start crying, okay.”

Blog (sobbing): “You don’t write me anymore as you used to!”

David: “I know, I know. But you know how it goes, first you’re in love, you spend every minute together, then the routine sets in… You know, it’s life.”

Blog: “Do you still love me? Do people even read me at all since you’ve decided that you don’t have to write so often because you have better things to do?”

David: “Blog?”

Blog: “Yes?”

David: “I still love you. And the traffic has steadily increased over the months. Last year we had an average of about 10 visitors per day. Now we’re moving towards 20!”

Blog: “Really? There are more people who want to see me?”

David: “Yes! They just keep coming. Look at that graph!”

Blog: “The average line goes up, hm?”

David: “Yes, up, up, up it goes.”

(both stare dreamy-eyed at the graph)

Blog: “So...?”

David: “So, traffic’s fine. It’s still only double digits, but a steady increase is still cool.”

Blog: “Do you want to do a lightning round?”

David: “Sure. Shoot.”

Blog: “Movies?”

David: “I wrote about 135 movies since I started this blog. Doesn’t sound like much, considering how many movies I watch, but still. It’s enough for a book of movie analysis.”

Blog: “Stop dreaming. Popular movies?”

David: “Jack Reacher is still regularly one of the most visited posts on this blog (or you?) for whatever reason, followed by Yankee Doodle Dandy (probably because it mentions spanking which seems to be part of my target audience). Also popular: Vanishing Point (partial nudity), The Conjuring (maybe because of the sequel), The Wicker ManTotal Eclipse and After Earth. Which have all been published in the first year. More recently, all the Disney movies seem popular and some of the bigger movies I write about after seeing them in theatre.”

Blog: “You talk too much. Other popular articles?”

David: “The Here’s My Future series is always a guaranteed hit, which is great because it is so important to me. Any article on school goes generally well.”

Blog: “People love their school discussions. Not so popular posts?”

David: “The sixth 3 Months of Movies post got two visits since October. My analysis of Noah can also be considered unread. My multi-movie post for 1981 week also wasn’t received nearly as well as I enjoyed writing it. And there are 11 posts that no one has viewed at all since the last anniversary.”

Blog: “Tough love. Personal favourite in the last year?”

David: “I was really happy with my Civil War double feature. I enjoy writing Here’s My Future, but I’m never sure how much I repeat myself  there. ”

Blog: “Of course you enjoy that. It's about you. Posts you feel bad about?”

David: “The Uncredited Terrorists post never felt like I achieved what I wanted. I’m also not sure I really did It Follows justice. And the one about Sia also didn’t feel right. I also feel bad I never followed up on the last episodes of Jessica Jones.”

Blog: “Sure, hundreds of people are waiting for that. Any vital signs for 1990 week?”

David: “I really don’t know what happened there. I watched all those movies and somehow I never got around to actually writing it all. And by now the movies are almost fleeting from my mind. But I have the basic article written already and I really plan on finishing it eventually. I love theme weeks too much to not do them, but they’re so much work.”

Blog: “Poor you. Comments?”

David: “Well, I still wish there were more comments. Apart from the heated feminism discussion with my former students, there are almost no comments at all. Which still makes it hard to know what people like. And again, if I only rely on numbers, I have to write about spanking every time.”

Blog: “I like spanking. So, what does the future bring for me, Mr. Speakupaskanswer a.k.a. The Blog?”

David: “Why do you think you are male?”

Blog: “…”

David: “…”

Blog: “I never thought about that.”

David: “Maybe you should read yourself more.”

Blog: “You are right. I should know better than to make such assumptions. Even if it’s my own gender.”

David: “Don’t worry, you’re only two, you have plenty of time to figure it out.”

Blog: “So, any future plans?”

David: “Nothing too specific. I always have many ideas that get lost over time. I won’t write 3 Months of Movies anymore because I really feel that no one cares. And I also repeat myself there. Because I watch so many movies but only write about few of them, I’m thinking of doing a kind of round-up of a couple of movies from time to time instead of focusing on one. I really want to get back to the Disney movies. There will be no final Jessica Jones post, unless people actually ask for it. If I ever manage to get better at theme weeks, I’d also like to do other theme weeks that are more topic-focused. I also want to write about TV shows again. And I never get rid of the idea of writing about movies I haven’t watched for decades to see why I liked them and how my older self views them now.”

Blog: “You mean like the Did I Like This? series that no one ever read? How promising."

David: "That's why I'm hesitating. But I think there are more people interested in 80s/90s movies than in hip-hop."

Blog: "That’s still a lot of ideas for someone who barely manages to write an article per week.”

David: “Thanks for the salt in my wound.”

Blog: “You’re welcome.”

David: “Are we through?”

Blog: “Do you have any final words?”

David: “I’m still thankful for every supporter, for everyone who takes the time to read and share and discuss my writing. This is still a passion project for me, but I’m happy for anyone who takes something away from it.”

Blog: “Aren’t you just in it for the fame?”

David: “It’s nice to be read, but I still try to write whatever I want. What’s in it for you?”

Blog: “I don’t know. I’m just a webpage you fill with content. I shouldn’t even have a voice.”

David: “Existential crisis much?”

Blog: “Are you happy about writing this anniversary post in meta-style?”

David: “Very much. And now it’s meta-meta.”

Blog: “I’m not going on now. You’re creeping me out.”

David: “So, to another year!”

Blog: “Yes, to another year!"